Just Babble...
Up & down, up & down just like a yo-yo best describes not only my life long battle with my weight but with probably 95% of Americans. Seriously, I’ve weighed more, I’ve weighed less & I’ve done every diet known to man from a very young age. I remember doing the crazy cabbage soup diet way back in middle school(or maybe it was elementary), although I don’t remember actually eating the soup – but I do remember having to eat something like 10 bananas in one day! I attended my first Weight Watchers meeting when I was in the 9th grade, grapefruit pills in the 11th, Atkins, kombucha tea diet, I even tried making myself throw up – yeah that one wasn’t happening. So why can’t I lose weight?
Well I’m an emotional/stress eater… at least I have been over the past 20ish years. As for why I gained so much when I was just a weee child, well I’ll probably have to see a shrink to figure that one out and I just don’t have time for that. Besides, at this point I could care less why I weighed 100 pounds in the 3rd grade – what I care about is how I’m going to get the weight back down, and how I’m going to keep it down.
So yeah, I’m an emotional stress eater… but there’s more to that. Oh sure I’d lost quite a bit then gained quite a bit back but just in the last few years is when things really changed…
When I met Roy I fluctuated back & forth from around 245-255, then along came Julia. It didn’t take long after having her that I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight but my shape was different and clothes still didn’t fit right. From 2007 to 2008 I had gained about 25 pounds… not overly frightening or bad considering Roy had lost his job in January 07 (that’s when stress overeating would kick in), but it was in a direction I didn’t want it to go. Along comes Spring 2008 & I set out to lose the weight I’d gained because the plan was to get pregnant in the fall and I wanted there to be less of me so people could tell I was actually pregnant and not just getting fatter. Trust me, I’ve had people think I was pregnant when I was nowhere near being pregnant – it happens. Anywho… by May I had gained yet another 30 pounds – WTF? I had no energy and even though I had good intentions to lose weight, the little energy I did have was sucked up by working full time, being a mom & wife and of course attempting to fulfill the role of Management VP for the Ann Arbor Jaycees that year!! So with mission “knocked up” on the books for fall & me with no energy, this might be a good time to see the doctor and find out why I’ve just gained 50 pounds in the last year!! A little blood work and aah-haa, low iron – oh yeah, did I forget to mention I’m anemic? My blood count was so low the doctor was surprised I was even able to get out of bed, let alone function! Truth be known, I don’t think I was thinking properly or really functioning as well as I probably should have during that period – I know there were a few “crazy” moments where I had done or said something that just wasn’t me and people thought I was losing it. So if I said or did something totally not me (this includes pointless emotional break downs) to you between January 08 and June 08 – I apologize. So by the time I got my iron & B-12 levels back up and in check I had very little time to lose weight before my “knocked up” mission was set in motion.
Well it didn’t happen. The losing weight part that is… getting knocked up was no problem at all. Feed a young vibrant Seamen a Grade A egg and magic happens. So between Roy losing his job, me trying to get my health in check, me getting pregnant, him losing his job again, then me losing mine 2 weeks before Jackson was born and all the other crap mixed in between(cars breaking down, pipes freezing, etc..), there’s been a tad bit of stress and you know what that means. Long story short – here we are. Trying not to focus on the stress… it’s like having an angel on one shoulder and devil on the other.
Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time. ~Mark Twain
Well I’m an emotional/stress eater… at least I have been over the past 20ish years. As for why I gained so much when I was just a weee child, well I’ll probably have to see a shrink to figure that one out and I just don’t have time for that. Besides, at this point I could care less why I weighed 100 pounds in the 3rd grade – what I care about is how I’m going to get the weight back down, and how I’m going to keep it down.
So yeah, I’m an emotional stress eater… but there’s more to that. Oh sure I’d lost quite a bit then gained quite a bit back but just in the last few years is when things really changed…
When I met Roy I fluctuated back & forth from around 245-255, then along came Julia. It didn’t take long after having her that I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight but my shape was different and clothes still didn’t fit right. From 2007 to 2008 I had gained about 25 pounds… not overly frightening or bad considering Roy had lost his job in January 07 (that’s when stress overeating would kick in), but it was in a direction I didn’t want it to go. Along comes Spring 2008 & I set out to lose the weight I’d gained because the plan was to get pregnant in the fall and I wanted there to be less of me so people could tell I was actually pregnant and not just getting fatter. Trust me, I’ve had people think I was pregnant when I was nowhere near being pregnant – it happens. Anywho… by May I had gained yet another 30 pounds – WTF? I had no energy and even though I had good intentions to lose weight, the little energy I did have was sucked up by working full time, being a mom & wife and of course attempting to fulfill the role of Management VP for the Ann Arbor Jaycees that year!! So with mission “knocked up” on the books for fall & me with no energy, this might be a good time to see the doctor and find out why I’ve just gained 50 pounds in the last year!! A little blood work and aah-haa, low iron – oh yeah, did I forget to mention I’m anemic? My blood count was so low the doctor was surprised I was even able to get out of bed, let alone function! Truth be known, I don’t think I was thinking properly or really functioning as well as I probably should have during that period – I know there were a few “crazy” moments where I had done or said something that just wasn’t me and people thought I was losing it. So if I said or did something totally not me (this includes pointless emotional break downs) to you between January 08 and June 08 – I apologize. So by the time I got my iron & B-12 levels back up and in check I had very little time to lose weight before my “knocked up” mission was set in motion.
Well it didn’t happen. The losing weight part that is… getting knocked up was no problem at all. Feed a young vibrant Seamen a Grade A egg and magic happens. So between Roy losing his job, me trying to get my health in check, me getting pregnant, him losing his job again, then me losing mine 2 weeks before Jackson was born and all the other crap mixed in between(cars breaking down, pipes freezing, etc..), there’s been a tad bit of stress and you know what that means. Long story short – here we are. Trying not to focus on the stress… it’s like having an angel on one shoulder and devil on the other.
Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time. ~Mark Twain
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